Do you not miss me?

I know I shouldn’t be thinking of you. But yet I am. Why am I in such a daze? How are you doing? What have you been up to? How’s life? Meet anyone interesting? Are you able to get by? Do you not miss those endless arguments? Tell me. Tell me everything. I want to know it all. I’m sorry I put you through hell. Is this the end of it all? Do we meet no more more? Are our lives no longer entwined? Was it not meant to be? Was it all for nought? Was the bond we shared all a lie? Do you not miss me?

Nothing, except…

Darkness. Only the subtlest senses of touch and smell truly alive. Distorted swells of sound making its way through the deafening silence. A sweet, fruity smell emanating from beside me. The comforting warmth of a familiar figure – even more than familiar. The world seemed to close in on me as the proximity between us increased. The anticipation grew with every passing millisecond. My body was ready with its surplus supplies of dopamine and testosterone. Everything else was background now. All that mattered was that figure inching increasingly closer, threatening to shatter all sensibilities of emotional and physical space. Air no longer seemed abundant. The mundane no longer mattered. In fact, nothing at all mattered. Nothing, except the growing sense of ecstasy in my heart and that soft touch of the softest set of lips in the whole wide world.

A matter of the head

To live inside your head, what a terrific boon that would be

To live inside your head, where the grass is always green

To live inside your head, just a slight manipulation it would involve

To live inside your head, where the heart is content and troubles not heard of

To live inside your head, on your face—ever a smile

To live inside your head, where you are king and get to control everything

To live inside your head, ecstasy all the while

To live inside your head, a dream so fragile.

 

 

You and I

The flawless night sky,

Stretching into the horizon

The cool breeze,

Carrying with it stories untold

90’s Rahman playing in the background,

Setting the perfect mood

Half-finished glasses of Johnnie Walker, a beautiful gold,

Glistening in the moonlight

Perched at a safe elevation, two silhouettes,

Legs dangling in the air

An easy bonding, breezy conversations,

Countless tales unfold

A tear or two, the pain that wasn’t deserved,

Excruciating at times, bearable at others,

Empathy rejoiced

A reassuring smile broke through, another grateful one followed,

Chests were cleared,

One shoulder, two heads.

Moments re-enacted, feelings revisited

Passions talked about, musings mused

Warmth prevailed

The night wore on, our youths shone bright

Our never-ending dreams, our unrelenting souls

It was just us,

Only you,

And I.

 

 

 

 

There’s this other girl…

I’m feeling warm. I’m not stressed out or anxious. I feel good. I’m feeling new feelings surface for this girl. Devoid of any sexual or romantic underpinnings. I just feel warm when I think of her. There’s something really nice about her – her thoughts, her words, her actions. Her. She has this incredibly warm outlook of the world. And I find that really inspiring. I’m sensing a good chemistry and I think that she thinks I’m not half-bad. I hope things run their natural course and she starts liking me the same way I like her. I feel like I’m caught up in her spell, reminding me to love life. She’s not the prettiest girl around, but this is not about looks. It’s about her. The beauty inside her. I hope she feels comfortable with me soon. I desperately hope all this is not just a haze and that it means something. I’m writing this after midnight on Internals day. But I’m feeling good. So why not? I also hope no misleading feelings of love or lust spoil this. I just want to be in her presence, be able to be myself, just be. And I hope she’d come to feel the same way. I don’t want to disturb her or intrude her privacy. I don’t want to care about her friends. I just want to be her friend. Just two human beings. I want to show her around Pondy – show her where I grew up in, sit next to her by the rocks on the beach, holding her hand. And wondering. Wondering about all the beauty that life holds.

So there’s this girl…

Caught between my own delusions and the thick veil of awkwardness that had come between us, what do I do? Do I just let you go? Or do I pursue my heart, to find out whether you are, in fact, what I’d imagined you to be?

Is it me? Is it someone less damaged you deserve? Someone a bit more balanced, perhaps? Someone with better looks? Surely, not ONLY that. You definitely seem way more than that. Do I have my head in the clouds? Am I caught up in a dream? You’ve held my fantasy from the word go. No, not just your charming looks. It goes more than that. A lot more than that. You’re not just pretty. You’re phenomenal. The company you choose to surround yourself with though, still boggles me. Surely, you’re way more sophisticated. I would love to have the opportunity to discover whether my fantasies would indeed be proven true. Would you welcome me with open arms, if at all, after all that’s happened?

Sure, this could be dismissed as the typical college crush. But it’s not often that you see the person you thought existed only in your dreams, in real life. Maybe our lifestyles wouldn’t match. Maybe we wouldn’t see eye to eye on everything. Maybe we would drive each other crazy. But I would just like to find all that out. I’d tried convincing myself you weren’t the right one, and had almost succeeded. But now, as I realize my days spent with you are drawing to an end, I would sure love to know that for a fact. Yeah, I’m not desperate for you. Life’s not gonna end without you. But, I sure as hell don’t wanna end up on one of those days, dwelling upon what could’ve been, as I listen to this

A Promenade on the Beach

I see families chit-chatting, young couples holding hands, old couples fondly discussing tales of their youth, children playing animatedly – like I once used to, fathers playing actively with their kids, tourists having a gala time – easily noticeable from their liberal holiday attire, groups of friends effortlessly bonding, determined walkers, and finally people like me, who come just to reflect on their lives and have a relaxed evening.

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With the pleasant taste of caramel popcorn still lingering in my mouth, I consciously end my stroll as the soothing sound of the waves beckoned me towards it. I couldn’t hold it any longer; I went up to the rocks separating the sandy path from the sea and nimbly helped myself on one. The aura of familiarity instantly welcomed me and put my mind at ease. What magic is it that this unending stretch of water holds, with its ceaseless waves daring to attack me, its friendly breeze caressing me with its soft touch, and that ever so mild note of petrichor?

The gentle splashing sound of the waves gradually hit a crescendo as they lashed out with all their might against the rocks – from a baby’s feeble laughter to an opera singer’s majestic high, and then back again. I found myself totally giving in all my senses to this tryst with nature. As I traced the waves to their origin, all I could see was the soft moonlight glistening on the swaying water and the lonely lights of a few distant ships far, far away. As I continued to gaze at the sea, it seemed to be drawing me into some kind of a trance. I kept looking at it for a while before I reluctantly turned away to look at the source of light itself – the brilliant full moon, glowing in all its grandeur. The eerie clouds, looming all over, looked oddly spooky in this setting; they could almost be the spirits of all the dead people, for all. But they just had to be there to complete the most picture-perfect canvas. I marvelled for the first time in my life, how intensely bright the sun’s light had to be, to be reflected back from the moon. I tried drawing a picture of how far the moon would be. But it was an exercise in futility – I was only left to wonder.

Now, one thing was missing though – music. As I put on the track ‘Yellow‘ by Coldplay and the lyrics ‘Look at the stars, look how they shine for you…’ hit me, everything reached a whole new high. I was soaring high in the sky. It was the perfect moment. The result – gooseflesh and a heightened sense of inner calm – such a welcome distraction from this bourgeois life. I would almost go to the extent of calling this a spiritual experience, transcending all humanly emotions. As I turned to my right, a few dim lights exposed the jetty, jutting into the sea; I have vague childhood memories of collecting seashells with my dad here, on the sand nearby.

Taking a break from all this splendour, I turned behind only to witness my eyes being confronted with the usual sight of people going about their business, which dulled starkly in comparison. I looked again to my front and boom, I was redrawn into this magical world. Ah, life. You leave me speechless. As the first pangs of hunger began to take over me, I glanced above to see the spirits, I mean, the clouds, moving – they had covered the moon, shrouding all its untold mysteries. I guess it was time for me to go; the skies themselves had spoken. I had also promised Mom I would be back home for dinner; and heck, she even called at the same exact moment. I gave one last loving look at the sea as I bid adieu, and strolled to the parking, the aftermath still clinging tight to me and making me feel all light. The Promenade beach(aka Rock beach) will always be my favourite destination in Pondy, the place I go to for peace, and to draw inspiration from. One definitely has to experience this sensory treat at least once in their lives.

 

Punk tiger weds vulture chick

Once there was a tiger – a ferocious beast, an outlaw, the don of dons, who lived in a jungle not very far away. He was responsible for all the mayhem and mishap caused in the jungle. One time, when the tiger was out on another of its wrongdoings, it caught its sight on one of the most beautiful creatures it had ever seen, at least to it – a mighty vulture, which was mercilessly devouring a bird. Spellbound by its magnificence, the punk tiger immediately asked for the vulture’s hand, nay, claw, in marriage. “Oh dear vulture, how is it that you manage to be the perfect combination of cute and sexy? I’m truly swept off. Please do accept my proposal for marriage.” The vulture, dreaming about all the power it could have once in wedlock with the punk tiger, blushed and immediately said yes. The wedding was a gala event. No one dared to ridicule this marriage of sorts. After all, the tiger wasn’t called punk, for nothing. And thus, the punk tiger and the vulture chick happily started their wondrous journey together.

Here’s a photo out of their wedding album:

A peck on the cheek, literally?

A peck on the cheek, literally?

Ah, the ways I put my imagination to use. Hello and howdy to whoever is reading this now. Your interest in reading whatever I’m about to say is truly appreciated. Treat yourself to a cookie, go on. Okay, to those of you wondering what the title is about, it’s just one of the many acronyms I used, to remember stuff for exams. What is it doing here, you ask? Well, tell me it didn’t stir your curiosity even a wee bit :P. So yeah, just for the heck of that, and also, that thing’s been stuck on my mind(I personally felt rather proud I was able to come up with that in one go :D). So might as well make a story out of it. Okay, okay now, maybe a little too much right at the start? Oh what the hell, I can write about whatever I want to. To those of you who don’t know me, I am a …*yaawwnn*. Ah, dang it, I do not wish to put myself through pointless deep thinking.

Why not just assume you’d get to know me from whatever words of (un)wisdom I post here and we’re cool? Right. So some of you might be thinking, ‘What is this guy going to yap about anyway?’.

Well, the answer to that, my friends, is still unclear to me. You might get a slight insight into that from how this post has been (brilliantly) conceived by yours truly. But then again, I just might catch you off guard and surprise the bonkers out of you (not excluding myself). So hang on to your hinges, people. You have been warned..

To the inevitable ‘Why this blog?’ now.

Eh, let’s just start off with my longing to be a tiny part of the massive revolution that is the Internet; voicing my say amongst the million others.  I bet the haters be like:

#Aintnothingonnastopme

Next, selfishly hoping I would actually do something with my life just for the sake of posting stuff on this blog(I know, ‘wow!’, right?)

Aww, stop it, you.

And finally, you know, leave a memoir for people to know how I used to be like, when I become famous.

Like Zach over here. I mean, who would’ve known, right?

So that’s it, folks. Until we meet next, adios and au revoir. May the odds be ever in your favour. 🙂