High spirits

As you step foot into the pleasantly air-conditioned room and the blaring disco lights and the thumping music hit you, you know you’re in for one hell of a time. As you drown into your select group and within yourself, you sense things start getting cheery. Good vibes. There’s you and there’s your friends. Your lovely friends. Screw sensibilities. You groove like crazy to the dizzying beats. You sing along. You goof around. You shed all inhibitions. After all, there’s nothing stopping you. Down another, your mind’s in a tizzy – the good kind. You say you love your friends. Of course you do. Group hugs. Shouting at the top of your voice to be heard. DJ, take a bow. Euphoric rushes to your head. You’re all smiles, all the way. Clumsy pictures taken.  Last call, you take your bets. Your moves become frenzier. The bass hits you harder. You’re in la-la land by now. And you don’t have a care in the world.


Privileged little f*cker

Privileged little f*cker,

Gets everything he wants,

Has everything he needs.

Privileged little f*cker,

Complains about life,

Dissatisfied and grumpy,

Lustful and tenacious.

Privileged little f*cker,

Contemplates stuff to do,

Gets everything he wants,

Has everything he needs.

Privileged little f*cker,

Distraught and weary,

Energetic and vibrant,

Distraught and weary.

Privileged little f*cker,

Scared and disillusioned,

Waiting to get off the bandwagon,

Emotions and people,

Emotions and darkness,

Emotions and emptiness.

Privileged little f*cker,

Alive and kicking,

Restless and raucous,

Vibrancy in his bones,

Lulls in his brains,

Vibrancy in his bones.

Privileged little f*cker,

Too good for his own shoes,

Not one to want to get involved in others’ –

Dusty shoes,

Shoeshiner’s luck.

Privileged little f*cker,

F*ck this, f*ck that,

Done all that, yes siree,

Creepy conversations, creepier smiles,

Drama magnet, inner turmoil.

Privileged little f*cker,

Privileged as they come,

Not so little anymore,

Gets on by –

A scrape here, a tear there,

Oh, look, candy!

Gets on by.




I want to…

I want to know how you’d touch me,

I want to know you’d feel me,

I want to know how your breath would feel on my face, when you’re caught between two worlds, waiting to make a move, almost done fighting the urge

I want to know how your hands would feel me, as you’d brush your lips against mine, a fiery tension and a Godly gratification embracing each other

I want to feel the life surging through your veins, as you’d take me with your all-indulging desire

I want to feel your flesh tingling, as my hands make their way through you, igniting centres, previously unfathomable

I want to feel your ever-slight tremble, as I let myself touch you, the mere grazing of skin enough to make breathing just not so easy

I want to hear your fading moan echo in my ears, as we let ourselves into uncharted terrains, all the suppressed unquiet unfurling

I want to know if you want me the way I want you.

To new beginnings

Begin Again – Friendship. Love. Relationships. Music. Lost stars.

You’re an estranged music producer. Your life falls apart when your marriage doesn’t pass a trial. You’re someone who likes to write and sing songs in your bedroom. Your rockstar boyfriend leaves you.

An endearing friendship ensues.

Favourite clips:

That moment in life when you take that fall, that deadly blow to your face, just when you seemed to have it all figured out. That moment when hope runs thin and you’re desperately looking for something to hold on to. And one day, out of the blue, that something makes it sly appearance. You almost don’t notice it at first. But it’s out in the open. A slight easing of the senses, and it has your wonder. You sit up and take notice. You’re curious. You’re eager. You start imagining all the wondrous possibilities. It has the potential to be something genuinely beautiful. Feelings of elation course through you and you smile like a fool in your drunken stupor. It has completely taken over you. Your moment of salvation has arrived.





Dan: That’s what I love about music.

Greta: What?

Dan: One of the most banal scenes is suddenly invested with so much meaning! All these banalities – They’re suddenly turned into these… these beautiful, effervescent pearls. From Music.

Dan: This moment is a pearl, Greta.

Greta: It sort of is, isn’t it?

Dan: All this has been a pearl.



Dog days are over

As loneliness starts creeping in, I’m starting to doubt my own being and the very fabric of human interaction. How does the whole system of friendships and relationships work when you’re supposed to be on your own and have an iron will and mental strength. Why don’t the people I like reciprocate my feelings? Am I naturally unlikeable? And what if they do? What difference does it make really? I mean, why am I not just able to find the will to go on within myself? Why do I need other people for that? Is it just a feigned interest to get caught up in other people’s lives, as an excuse to take a break from one’s own? Or is it the sorry good feeling I get when I project myself and my dreams a hundred times more exciting as they really are? Is it some form of acceptance I crave, from any person really? What else? What is it then? I wouldn’t mind getting back on the dating horse right now. Life’s real lonely.

Do you not miss me?

I know I shouldn’t be thinking of you. But yet I am. Why am I in such a daze? How are you doing? What have you been up to? How’s life? Meet anyone interesting? Are you able to get by? Do you not miss those endless arguments? Tell me. Tell me everything. I want to know it all. I’m sorry I put you through hell. Is this the end of it all? Do we meet no more more? Are our lives no longer entwined? Was it not meant to be? Was it all for nought? Was the bond we shared all a lie? Do you not miss me?