Tag / romance

by Shiva Sharan

A great big adventure

I fantasise about getting to know you, everyday —

Your skin glistens as I seek to discover the unbound pleasures of you,

Of the thought of you

Tremors course through your body as I make my way to the pot of gold,

Shimmery and dazzling

Rivulets appear in places where one would want to find them,

Gleaming in all their glory.

 

I find my way through the lush meadows, lusher than ever,

Heading over uncharted terrain, marking my territory

With romance, and with poetry;

Neverfound lands, newfound sensations

Sensations of adventure, and sensations of transcendence,

Taking in everything, taking in you.

 

I drink from the abundant wells, I lap it up all up

I swoon, I coddle

I give all I can give, and some more

For I’m a seeker, and I seek to know you

I’m a lover, and I yearn to love you

And I dream about making endless passion with you.

by Shiva Sharan

To each, their own, and thoughts circling it

You’ve got your dreams and your zeals,

Your adorations and infatuations,

And things you’ve got to do,

Just for their sake;

But is that all you crave,

Is that all you want –

Do you not put your heart out on the line,

And perhaps enjoy a little bit of mellow,

A little bit of tenderness,

In the form of a human

Do you not crave a shared joy,

Or perhaps a fulfilling contentment,

In the arms of a lover

Do you not, for once, look in front of you,

And think about the possibilities,

Of what could be –

Or is it just the things you’ve got to do,

Just for their own sake.

by Shiva Sharan

Do you not miss me?

I know I shouldn’t be thinking of you. But yet I am. Why am I in such a daze? How are you doing? What have you been up to? How’s life? Meet anyone interesting? Are you able to get by? Do you not miss those endless arguments? Tell me. Tell me everything. I want to know it all. I’m sorry I put you through hell. Is this the end of it all? Do we meet no more more? Are our lives no longer entwined? Was it not meant to be? Was it all for nought? Was the bond we shared all a lie? Do you not miss me?

by Shiva Sharan

Nothing, except…

Darkness. Only the subtlest senses of touch and smell truly alive. Distorted swells of sound making its way through the deafening silence. A sweet, fruity smell emanating from beside me. The comforting warmth of a familiar figure – even more than familiar. The world seemed to close in on me as the proximity between us increased. The anticipation grew with every passing millisecond. My body was ready with its surplus supplies of dopamine and testosterone. Everything else was background now. All that mattered was that figure inching increasingly closer, threatening to shatter all sensibilities of emotional and physical space. Air no longer seemed abundant. The mundane no longer mattered. In fact, nothing at all mattered. Nothing, except the growing sense of ecstasy in my heart and that soft touch of the softest set of lips in the whole wide world.

by Shiva Sharan

There was he, and there was she – Thoughts on Silver Linings Playbook

Marriage. Something way complicated. Way more complicated than being in love. Anything can happen. There’s no guarantee. No sure shot at happiness. A blind leap of faith. A jump into a void. You’re not sure what the other person is going through. You desperately try to help them. You can’t find it in you to take care of yourself, let alone your significant better. Sure, you could end up having a splendid one. Other times, it could break you. Put your sanity to question. Your life gets entwined with the other person’s so much you can’t imagine your life without them. They become part of your routine. Part of your stories. They become you. And when the worst, the most dreaded happens, you’re never quite prepared for it. You lose all control. You start questioning yourself. You go nuts. You can’t quite take in what had happened. You don’t believe it. You start yelling. You start conflicting. The pain is too much. Hell takes over. You start doubting everything. You are scarred for life. Things somehow feel like they’re never going to be the same again. You scream at the inhumane injustice of life.

______________________________________________________

On one hand, a new marriage. A young love. Things are going good. But somewhere out of the blue, the devil that is depression hits her. The mad love-making comes to an abrupt end. He wants kids. She’s still trying to figure out her life. One day, after work, he decides to get her a little something to bring back the spark. A perfectly noble intention. On the way back, he gets hit by a car while having stopped to help someone with a flat tyre, and dies. Just like that. How would she even react? Why had it have to happen? They could’ve found a way. They were good. They were in love. Just why? She didn’t deserve it. All she needed was a caring shoulder. All she needed was love.

On the other hand, a moderately young marriage. But things certainly weren’t in place. Complaining, fights, arguments. Wanting the other to change. Desperate attempts to mend a disarrayed marriage. He tries hard to make it work. She finds solace in another guy. One day, the husband comes home to find them showering together. In a fit of outrageous rage, he starts beating up the guy, severely injuring him. He is admitted into a mental facility, only to be diagnosed with bipolar disorder and anxiety issues.

Months pass. He is brimming with positive energy by the time it’s time for him to get back to his life. He has this whole new game-plan of being positive and getting in shape, to win back his wife. His parents tell him she had sold their house and that she might not return. His psychiatrist tells him to be ready for the worst. He has his occasional bipolar bouts. But he does not lose hope. He wants to believe in happy endings. He believes everyone has a chance at a silver lining, if they give it their all.

Meanwhile, she wasn’t doing so great. After the suffering had ended, emptiness had crept in. She yearned for company. She made herself an easy target. She started substituting the fleeting highs of coital pleasure for the compassion of love. It cost her her job. She was on the highway to destruction.

It was fate that she met him at a dinner one day. Seeming awkwardness. You know how they say you can’t really describe how you fall in love with someone. Like, how it just happens. It’s just you and your raw gut feeling of incredible attraction, and the other person. Something along the lines of this happened. It was evident in her eyes, if only for a split second. A slight gasp. A mild widening of the pupils. But he, on the other hand, is terrified. Terrified of what he’s feeling towards this woman he’d just met. Terrified whether his love for his wife was true. Terrified of the consequences this encounter might bring about. But in the end, all they had to do was hold on. Because that’s what it took to find happiness once more.

 

by Shiva Sharan

So there’s this girl…

Caught between my own delusions and the thick veil of awkwardness that had come between us, what do I do? Do I just let you go? Or do I pursue my heart, to find out whether you are, in fact, what I’d imagined you to be?

Is it me? Is it someone less damaged you deserve? Someone a bit more balanced, perhaps? Someone with better looks? Surely, not ONLY that. You definitely seem way more than that. Do I have my head in the clouds? Am I caught up in a dream? You’ve held my fantasy from the word go. No, not just your charming looks. It goes more than that. A lot more than that. You’re not just pretty. You’re phenomenal. The company you choose to surround yourself with though, still boggles me. Surely, you’re way more sophisticated. I would love to have the opportunity to discover whether my fantasies would indeed be proven true. Would you welcome me with open arms, if at all, after all that’s happened?

Sure, this could be dismissed as the typical college crush. But it’s not often that you see the person you thought existed only in your dreams, in real life. Maybe our lifestyles wouldn’t match. Maybe we wouldn’t see eye to eye on everything. Maybe we would drive each other crazy. But I would just like to find all that out. I’d tried convincing myself you weren’t the right one, and had almost succeeded. But now, as I realize my days spent with you are drawing to an end, I would sure love to know that for a fact. Yeah, I’m not desperate for you. Life’s not gonna end without you. But, I sure as hell don’t wanna end up on one of those days, dwelling upon what could’ve been, as I listen to this…